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Karl Becker and Red Sweaters

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It seems to me we live in a world dependent on creating excess labor. People work more than they need to, because the inefficiencies we allow demand this principle. When I contemplate society it is amazing to me how un-empathetic many human beings have become. I understand money affords the freedom to attain things others cannot. What confuses me is the fact that working 70 hours a week in order to spend excess income on overpriced suits, cars, phones, watches, bottles at dance clubs, $10K limo rides from airports and $30 million homes are positive attributes to strive towards in our popular culture.

Why do we care which rich or famous personality is buying Nike Air Max’s on snapchat? I also suspect Gucci Mane didn’t actually exchange any of his cash for the price tags featured on Gucci’s website and I’m sure Stadium Good’s marketing media for some time to come. This kind of advertising is worth giving away some kicks purchased from China’s factories likely marked up 150-200% by the retailer on Howard Street in NYC.

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I was waiting tables during the latest installment of live political reality television, although it is easy to find replays and summary’s across youtube and social media. From what I have gathered someone named Ken Bone wore a red sweater and if a guy watches until the end Karl Becker asks a famous road trip question. Typically, this one was directed at me a my sister arguing in the backseat from our mother. I think I was 11 when she would ask us to say one nice thing about each other and insist we hold hands. I’m glad this applies to our Democratic and Republican party nominee’s. Anderson Cooper and a lady with a less memorable hair-style saved the best query for last. Thank you Karl Becker, at least they shook hands once. I was inspired by our candidates brevity in their final answers…

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Well, at least motivated enough to write something about the upcoming election. It took me 30 minutes to discover Hilary and the Donald’s responses to sustainable energy. To save you time I have composed a youtube video showing the last 8 minutes of this weeks Town Hall Debate. Enjoy.

Ken Bone and Karl Becker’s Queries

Speaking first on the subject Trump uses a word “re-jiggering” following this up with “Now I’m all for alternative forms of energy, including wind, including solar, etcetera.” He quickly digressed backwards in carbon emissions covering his ability to settle our $20 trillion debt by promising to rebuild our clean coal and natural gas energy companies explaining “They will make money, they will pay off our national debt…”

The day any privately held energy company decides to settle our national debt will be a bright one. I would put my eggs in Elon Musk’s basket as our deserts have unlimited sunlight and the cost of solar panels is steadily falling while their efficiency rises. Hilary’s rebuttal was uplifting in her compassion for American miners. Citing the sacrifices made by their grandfathers and fathers who died for our power grids. It would be rude to snatch this opportunity from their son’s and daughter’s  as they have earned chances to work in the same hazardous environments.

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How long does this charade last? We will never pay back China, and until we do I will stick stringently to my lack of student loan payments. In four and 1/2 years since graduation I have never missed one; I have also never made one. I am happy to explain the process to anyone who desires to boycott their own. I feel if billionaires such as the D and other wealthy people can file for bankruptcy on debt they can afford (Donald’s $960 million write off was cited in the debate). I will skip making crippling monthly payments on an education that seated me $69,000.00 in debt by the age of 22.

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Donald justified his evasion seamlessly with a personal attack on Clinton’s ability and choice to avoid the closure of “corporate loopholes,” textbook. Her inadequacy to single handedly achieve this as a senator was founded on slippery slopes at best. Which is similar to the traction gained with our bi-partisan voting of 100 senators elected through the monetary aid of the lobbyists they adhere to. This isn’t saying I believe she is trustworthy either, more of a process of elimination situation.

I will most likely plead the fifth in this years election as I am aversive to waiting in lines, dislike biking miles to polling centers in November and most importantly would prefer not to have anyone look into my lack of tax returns for three years (I was out of the country and am actively seeking sufficient employment). Just kidding, I paid them; however, I would prefer not to prove this either, you can see them when I see the emails and Trump’s taxes. Okay, I will vote.

George Carlin on Voting

In accordance with 70% of the information covered in this week’s debate: I am concerned about isolated terrorist incidences in and around Islamic states, building walls, limiting Syrians and signing defense contracts so we can centralize banking structures in the middle east while obtaining affordable oil so we can tax energy while creating shitty inefficient jobs that no one wants to work in an effort to lower people’s happiness level before we cause sickness to them via healthcare structures formulated to profit pharmaceutical companies so they can afford to charge insanely over-evaluated R&D fees in order to release the latest prescription drugs for hypochondriacs stressed out and sick due to the aforementioned; after, of course, scientists in China, India and likely USA, fabricate these studies justifying the release of laboratory developed base ingredients.

“Along with India, China is one of the top two producers of base ingredients for drugs in the world, according to the U.S. Institute of Medicine; the FDA has made inspections there a priority to keep patients safe.” –Bloomberg

Bloomberg covers Hisun Pharma

I vote for solar power, public transportation, organic gardening allowances, a reset of financial and fiscal responsibilities, people quitting their jobs at financial corporations and banking institutions creating imaginary numbers and profit/loss statements, dependency on inflated material status symbols, legalization of marijuana, friendship, LGBT anything, feminism, planned parenthood, efficient corporations, decreased dependency on goods produced by children and sold for a dollar at the Walton family’s general store and a rap song called “Grab em’ by the Rothschild’s.”

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Solar City (Elon Musk, the developer of Paypal, Tesla Automobiles, Space X)

Here’s to FREE SOAP and drinking like it is a bud light commercial about the election, neither one of these puppets dancing on strings will solve the future until we make changes in our daily lives. Find a passion, stop doing things we hate, reduce waste and turn off all the commercials (they will only make you feel fat). This being said I am hopeful everyday, spread smiles not wars.

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Conga Chuesday

“Appreciate the fact that you got a job…” Slug speaks on this concept to all his friends in a track “Freefallin'” if you would like to do your own research I prefer “Get Fly” to the former, although I can never remember my favorite Atmosphere chune, it seems to change.

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When it comes to the opposite of having employment, I am enjoying the two opportunities for cash work I have found in Minneapolis. It is excellent to only need to show up somewhere and get paid. Even if I have to bike 10 miles to get there, no gym membership necessary, save money, save time.
Of course there is much more to the art of remaining employed than simply showing up. A positive attitude and the ability to come prepared on time every time is essential for career advancement. My second position is technically independent contracting for a contractor flipping houses. I have been lucky with landscaping, I get to show up whenever, only because when I am there I make shit look pretty, well and I am getting underpaid. The same is true with Entrepreneurship, except so far at that one I put in more hours and have not yet been paid. Well, The Mercedes Soap Wagon came at a nice price. This bottle is TM; only because I do not believe in patents and I can not afford one.
Monday and Tuesday nights Bartending at Conga in NE Minneapolis is an opportunity for Marketing as their regulars on these evenings have dwindled. I am planning an Open Mic Monday and Tinder Networking Taco Two for 1 Tuesday. Currently, asking them to bring the wifi upstairs, mostly so I can Snapchat about soap cocktails. Please feel free to stop by for a conversation in Spanglish, $1.50 tacos and 2 for 1’s from 5-7 or 10-midnight. I am willing to tell jokes for free, I don’t like to work for tips; one.

Icarus-Deception

There is a book written by Seth Godin, I highly recommend glancing at this one (made ya look?). The authors central statement is “A person’s art is everything they do all day long.” I felt like I understood this concept at a young age, mostly because I have problems leaving a task half completed or performed inefficiently. In Australia, these tendencies will land a mate with a most disdained nickname, Half-Job. I found this one in the two dollar section of Savers, our favorite shopping center in Maui, well Cameron did. I was buying us Aloha shirts for little beach…

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I can recall cleaning bathrooms and sweeping floors after renting out ice skates and penguin sleds for a season at the Queenstown ice arena. It was an truly amazing job, I was able to play puck everyday. I only slept through one skating lesson, Ted is still pissed at me for that morning, lucky I woke up for the second session; also the two Graham’s were the best bosses I have ever had. Dan even let me help him write radio ads and pass out free entry’s to nice smiles in the park on slow days.

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The other activities were simply trade offs for being able to stream Wild games, meeting excellent travelers (I was a reliable tour guide around the 42 pubs in that mountain village), and the opportunity to teach elementary classes how to skate. Ice skating was a six week mandatory course for each school in the area, we asked the parents to sit far away so the kids wouldn’t cry when they fell. They were all wearing helmets and law suits are not a problem in New Zealand, there is a law respecting personal responsibility. We recommended helmets to everyone new to the arena anyways, especially when they lied about their skate size. I could tell from behind the counter from the tone of their confidence. Mostly I would just quietly slide them the right size, unless they forgot to say please. It was an extra step to give them another pair once they figured this out.

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I even got one more shift of actual puck, I have wished for that since I hung up the wheels at 18. In retrospect, I should have wished for a season… This photo is accurately displaying my ice time that weekend. If you can find me in the back row. I did have one breakaway, well almost, I forgot to bring the rubber with me after pulling one wide of the last Kiwi in my way. Still training for another shot at making the Skycity Stampede. The boys are back to back Bergil Cup champs since I showed Mike McCrae (NZIHL all time leading scorer) how to backcheck in 2014, beat him a bunch at posts and darts that year too… He might have gotten me left handed at billiards one time, it came down to bad timing really.

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When adventuring it is important to be flexible with about everything. I was trained in at more than 15 jobs. Also, essential to take pride in one’s work because there were so many others that had to leave the places I stayed for work in cities somewhere.
A stable place to live and some employment with a potential to save some money could be a good thing. Thanks for finding a lease on this spot Dani Justice and Straycat for passing up your room in the shack!

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I am currently seeking out 9 to 5 employment for stability, although if I found a solid Bartending position it would actually earn me more per 60 minutes in less hours labored. The extra time I have can be utilized for advancing my goals in entrepreneurship. This soap company is not going to build itself.

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An issue I run into with hospitality is simply the hours lead to only really being free to socialize with other Hospo workers. This is a large sacrifice for me, since most of the people I know work 9-5’s as well. I am currently seeking a position in Social Media, otherwise a job making cocktails at the Foshay Tower would help me stack up enough to start making lye again. I have been up there four times by tomorrow evening they might even hire me or at least ask me to stop coming back.

It might be simpler to just ask people for money, flying signs on the highway can pay up to $300 a day. At least that is what the Dirt Gang I kicked it with last week in Dinkytown told me. Personally, I have had an aversion to the idea of crowd funding since I watched a couple of cheesy videos on Kickstarter produced by some blonde girls that were receiving money for nothing. I am now filming my own, as a utility to get my secret soap recipe on the market, although I might advertise for a better website. Please stay tuned, as I will need your help! Well, unless I get a job first.
The real challenge is creating income out of thin air. Once rolling momentum makes things simpler, possibly it is simply just conditioning. The more I go to work, the more tolerable it is to go to work. I can’t help but think about the possibility other employment opportunities may be more lucrative than Monday and Tuesday nights for minimum wage and maximum taxes at a Latin Bistro.
I did make about $39.69 in tips tonight and the people that came in were very solid individuals. We discussed important things relating to upcoming medical possibilities and eastern philosophy on healing more naturally. Ruth even told me about the meme she saw today, it was dollar bills inside of orange prescription pill bottles. She said it relates to the way doctors incentives fall in line with pharmaceutical incentives. The more they prescribe, the more they are paid.

ON PHARMACEUTICALS…

prescription drugs I don’t really understand, I thought we were all just trying to care for patients and get them the medicine they need; like benzodiazepines. Then I spend a weekend learning about addiction at Hazeldine only to find out people have had symptoms relating to Valium and other anti-depressants leading to blacking out years of their lives and savage stories of recovery after losing touch with their psychiatrist’s recommended doses. It could have something to do with psychiatrist’s losing touch with their customers tolerance. Glad we have insurance companies footing most of the bill, or do they? Research and development of these science experiments is expensive.
I question parents decisions to purchase their middle schoolers Ritalin, Concerta and Adderall. I would suggest their kids go for a run, drink twice as much water, mix in a salad, maybe even a novel. They are 12, relax, not every child succeeds in conventional education. Although, those extended release capsules worked wonders during finals week. My K/D ratio on Halo improved greatly as well. I remember it taking me about to years to recapture my comprehension and focus abilities after college without their performance enhancement.

Personally, I believe in essential oils, fruits, vegetables, drinking pure water, well at least fluoride free; the word begins with sickness. In my personal findings, a positive attitude and daily exercise does wonders for a person. Well, 8 hours of sleep is important for me to remain sharp and calm as well. I am studying to be a soap doctor, the degree costs less. Half Barrel Farms is going to keep recommendations on a 101. I would like to afford a trip back to Queenstown to see all the Fam there. Thanks for this weekend boat trip Twin Sutherlands!

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“It is better to travel well than to arrive.” – Buddha

Persistence

Dietrich Mateschitz was interviewed about his new energy beverage featuring taurine. I cannot seem to find the quote I remember from the report I wrote about him years back, but his opinions on marketing are definitely held in high regard by many who learn from the strategies of Red Bull.

He evolved this product from a hangover cure personally discovered traveling through Asia, Thailand to be specific.

The taste was greatly improved according to Dietrich, as the initial recipe was very thick and difficult to swallow down. Even after improvements, many would agree the product is somewhat of an acquired taste; does give a person wings.

During initial product testing near 50% of testers enjoyed the product and the other half were strongly opposed, he cited there was little middle ground.

What I found interesting about this story was simply his response to questions asked about this split in opinion and if he was going to continue producing his product after such poor results. “Nearly half of people tested despised the taste.”

Mateschitz was calm and stated he was most definitely going to keep pushing. Next, he went on to discuss controversy saying it is good for marketing, it creates discussion.

I have received mixed opinions about the things I am saying in this blog and I guess it is as nice of evening as any to state my true efforts. I like this marketing parable specifically because it applies to what I am trying to accomplish with my ideas. In my life I have become someone criticized very frequently, deservedly for the most part. I embrace these comments even when at times I would rather argue. I believe to truly grow one needs to develop thick skin and some style. Have you ever watched water on a duck’s back as it resurfaces?

I am an original, I follow my heart and live life with as much passion as I can for stating truths many people choose to leave unsaid.

To many I am simply an asshole, I am okay with that. My ideas for the future stem from a desire for everyone I know to grow and achieve a high level of happiness for themselves. It has become apparent to me that for many to truly accomplish this feat they may need to have their cage slightly rattled.

I feel it is simpler to offend someone’s ideal in a literal sense than so verbally. I am still working on the second part of this statement.

I can truly say that even though I have been more financially unstable in the past 6 months than ever in my life, I have found a new hunger for building the future I desire. I am 101% confident in myself and excited to head back to Long Prairie to toss potato sacks for a month so I can afford a car and a driver’s license again. I know one day soon I will develop a profitable hygienic and skin care company known as Half Barrel Farms.

I was dissatisfied with my life and made a change. It took me four years to figure out what I want to do with my time on this spinning rock. If I had two cents to pay to anyone, well I tend to consult too often for free…

Simply, if any part of you does not enjoy where your career is going now, giving it five years may be enough time to forget about other possibilities. When the whole story is near it’s conclusion a wise man once told me, “Are you more likely to regret the things you did or the things you did not do?”

There is a cool speech about sunscreen worth watching on YouTube. Try to mute the advertisement, unless it is a good one! This is how it ends…

“Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
Wishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off
Painting over the ugly parts and recycling for more than it’s worth.”

Baz Luhrmann – Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen)

 

Asked to leave

I was kicked out a coffee shop the other morning. Apparently 2 hours is the maximum time allowance for napping after purchase of a medium, medium roast at Moxie Java. The owner may have let me sleep another 30 had I purchased a large. I thanked her for the charged phone, and explained it takes awhile to reach 69% battery before leaving gracefully with a tipped bill and my head held high.
Finishing my coffee cold that morning I skipped down 4th street on a scavenged all terrain bicycle repaired a couple days prior after collecting it from the pool of borrowed college cruisers I paid a flamingo Schwinn into 8 years prior during my orientation week at Concordia.
Blessings come in chrome, this rogue pushy was painted red also. Back to campus to edit articles for 8 hours forgetting to eat and skipping a couple scheduled cigarette breaks before borrowing a secret shower I found taking landscaping breaks for campus gardeners the summer following that freshman campaign.
Doug, the best manager, knew where to find me when some kind of skilled labor needed to be accomplished. Usually, I was sleeping off a hangover collecting underpaid hourly for overpriced diplomas in a backwards America.

The 1001 was a 25 meter jaunt across 8th street. I frequented our living room while on the clock. I blame my roommates for skipping their jobs so often at the local country club. I would insist on playing something other than 2k while they insisted I smoke pot. At least they had drops of Rotos for me before I would jog back to the Maize in time for our scheduled 15 minute breaks.
Surprisingly, These tactics were not officially discovered until late July at which point it was too late to fire a summer employee. Cobbers pay high tuition rates anyways…

We were about the only sophomores allowed to live off campus, thanks to an official doctor’s note for the “allergies” I had to all the resident advisors giving me under aged drinking violations after stealing our beer and confiscating a fridge during that first month.

No longer allowed to keep anything cool in our dorm room, I think the number was 213, but you would have to ask Jordon Benson about that. He was less upset about this incident after I asked for the fridge one weekend I was “heading home with it.”
Well I had to carry it pretty fast straight back down the hall to my closet before Mr. Robley could find it again. That man had a tattling problem, well mostly it was just the way he abused his Asian girlfriend for his lack of friends. No matter, he was elected to student senate later to be promoted to campus president, douche.
I have had trouble following rules in my lifetime. It seems to me they were written by someone else who broke them; there are so many extenuating circumstances in this life.

People have told me I should have studied law; contemplating the idea of placing myself into further student loan debt.
Also, the real money lies in defending mostly guilty people avoiding taxes or other mistakes. I prefer the opposite kind of humans, living on their own accord.

I have chosen to waive the option of paying my student debt, thus far, for now. Interest rates have been capitalized, however, my monthly payment is a better number.

I was searching for a reason to remain unemployed in this economy. Although, I do prefer to stay busy. Catch in this system, non-profits provide a great deal of flexibility.

I am disinclined to join a societal machine grinding too many friend’s gears. Many have now been promoted, for them I am proud. I have kicked the can down the road personally…

Choosing a transient tent life over a hurry to start mortgaging a marriage and the kids that come with the latter, inoring simple facts of white picket life. Today I am interviewing to join “the race.”

Assimilar a derby horse that has been stuck in the gate. Waiting to run a later race.
People have described envy for the way i have spent four years across the Pacific. I argue the homeless life is not as green until one loses their favorite shoes and digs toes into soft Bermuda grass. Lately, mine keep getting smashed in all the doors closing in my face. Lucky, I have quick reflex.

Balling on a budget requires a sacrifice of most everything a person like myself was accustomed. Commitment to personal ideals and flexibility with the advice given by just about everyone.

Anyone could do what I have done. Simply travel life just requires an ability to miss all the friends and family a person has ever known to cast out a line for new ones. The dreams about waking up back in Minnesota and regretting the fact I left Australia before my visa expired stopped about 9 months into year one. This was when I realized I could no longer afford to fly home anyways.
Working a professional internship to find out the business was too small to sponsor me later. This had something to do with increased regulations providing mandatory spending (15% of profits) towards government training programs, coming about after the allowance of 7/11 petroleum and other large corporations hiring exclusively migrant workers for minimum wage.

Life has its own plan for me. Had this position worked out I would have never had to take a bus to Queenstown, New Zealand one sunny afternoon in March.
I had nearly six hundred dollars in my pocket that afternoon I checked into Base hostel before heading out for a casual drink with Ed Woodley an English mate who borrowed me a white T shirt for the pub that night before I woke up hung over with a hundred less NZD’s and a hunger to find a job, needing a place to live for free.

It took me about 2 hours to get my unlocked iPhone 4 connected to Optus and the new number to Joel Murch. I knew this bar manager would never email me about the job I asked him for. Lucky, he was from California and offered me a trial shift two nights later. Job sorted, I headed back out to the pub to celebrate.
It did take me 10 minutes at that trial shift at Barmuda before I was offered a Belvedere shot from the owner named Fergus. I felt like the shift was going well at that stage. This man was a bit of a legend around town, let’s just say it had something to do with the world famous burger joint he refused to franchise on the most popular corner of Shotover Street.

I think is was called Fergburger, difficult to remember how to spell. We always arrived there so drunk after closing down the Boiler Room. Pub survivors were given $5 local specials and drunken quarter until 4am. Depending on how well a kid knew the bouncers, drinking laws in New Zealand are firm. I batted mostly .900 that season, there was one or two strikeouts, bad timing, right Mac? (They issued me a 6 month suspension that lasted me three months of hardship before I learned how apologize properly. Another long story, ask Ted how that glass broke).
I digress back to the second night I spent out in this Remarkable village finding Searle Lane. Jack McDonald was there waiting for me with a pint and stories of a crazy place to live. A guitar player at the bar I worked at in Australia we moved to Queenstown less than a month apart. Glad I knew that guy. Spent $100 on beer and cigarettes to make mates with Avalon and move into a mad house the following evening. I slept on any couch left over, sometimes outside on the porch in 50 degree mountain air. The Stars were magnificent, regardless of a one blanket shiver.

We spent so much time hiding from Sean Whitaker at 40 Avalon, between the thirty of us living there rent was dry usually due how loose and wet our mornings were after parties that last all night. There were like 50 bars in between 16 town blocks, not sure if that number includes the one Miles, Jack and I visited one wild evening for half priced wings and free beers thanks to Tom Bridge behind that bar. Well, roommates don’t pay for drinks… Just put it on the Hospo tab mate.

Two feet and a heartbeat

 

The most dangerous step of any journey is the first one out the front door. -Gandalf… Well, Peter Jackson & John Ronald Reuel Tolkien

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Yes I read the hobbit, as well as the books behind the greatest trilogy (or six book collection) of my childhood. C.S. Lewis receives an honorable mention, although, I am unsure of his real name.

As a young man still growing I reflect on my favorite films to watch repeatedly as a child. While I remain a lost boy, I cannot help but pretend to be the star character of my own silly movie.

I attribute much of my success to Oceans 11, Goldfinger, Vince Vaughn and Mr. Harrelson, although, it Wood be nice to hear something about how good your trees looked that year I worked for you.

I am selling some shares in the soap company, now is an excellent time to invest. I wanted to let you know first seeing as your fruit would make amazing soap. The lessons I learned in the jungle were essential for surviving the last two months of trekking across the midwest.

I have had many opportunities to camp this summer, Minnesota is such a beautiful state. Parked one outside the lake bar on America’s birthday. Solid chance this never happens again, bucket listing.

I embarked upon a personal challenge after someone finally borrowed everything in my backpack a few weeks ago. Life has been moving fantastically ever since.

Zorbaz

I strive to smile more than anyone I see, so please don’t laugh at me because I would have to work harder. -blankhead

I will take this opportunity to say thank you for the Nautica Island hat I found extracting strawberry guava near a bamboo shelter with one chair at the top of the farm, it overlooks a South swell… I am not a truly trained detective but If I was a writer, that would be a nice spot to think.

I used to pretend your weedwhacker was a hockey stick on Snapchat. This is my favorite sport besides surfing. Nonetheless, after 7 hours,  I was over listening to the same music, juking trees, kicking coconuts and scoring goals. My arms would usually be numb by this point as well. The job did allow me to live in a secret wonderland most people lucky enough to even see can only drive through or stay a couple nights at the National Park.

Part of me could have stayed forever, but life needed to advance for me in Minnesota. I was also told there was no more work for me on the orchard. In retrospect, I landscaped over efficiently, the damn weeds kept growing back. Finally, I had them low enough they did not come back, well it quit raining for a few months too. I was under my own impression, if I get ahead there would be opportunity for missing some days and focusing on my own business.

This was correct, I was just not expecting to have unlimited days. I only know how to work at one speed, as fast as Snapchat can bike.

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Glad the homie Noah still has some regular hourly, he is making excellent mead out of some super citrus that grows in abundance at Half Barrel Farms. I cannot wait to invest in his Ram’s Head Meadary. Your property still has a solid worker. I was able to see the importance of arriving at the weeds on time. This was dangerous for me on certain days as my bike tyres were so consistently going flat.

Wolf handed me some tire irons and told me to figure it out too. Not until I punctured a few with some spoons first learning not to use butter knives either. I patched something like 40 holes before Amazon sent me a new set of tires. They were Alligator or something like that, cheapest ones that fly free with good recommendations from my Prime research (Corporate headquarters are nice there).

Between explaining Plato and Faulkner, we spoke on Jesse Ventura’s experience with politics, that novel was too real. I highly recommend looking this list over as well…

http://listverse.com/2008/01/22/top-15-great-alcoholic-writers/ (if you know how to copy and paste, I saved some time).

 

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Some duct tape on the inside of each rim is a good idea if her Puegot has a Rusty frame. Take a break, naw, I’ll keep advertising. Those were the boardies I surfed in Australia. Maui Built like someone else’s Kazuma and a sweet Charlie Smith size 6’9″ says for Daniel Swanson on the bottom. Still stoking about the prices I paid for those, clearances… I now qualify for the Tour De France, most likely just a position in the pit crew. Cameron kept the swim trunks…

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Kara was able to spare this finely tuned machine, have a look at those original stocks. They could actually dodge most those potholes moving past Laulima. I wasn’t able to give too many girls bucks down the Hana Highway on her, so I just delivered soap.

Puegot

The same day I finally fixed some gears on baby Puegot; I was offered a new project, I believe the name on title for this $200 Mercedes Benz was Daniel Weedman. She came to me 8 years ahead on taxes, they are still writing tickets about it. Talked him down to $140 and a cold beer, wait that was $51 for the silver half of our corporate fleet. Soap exclusively drives German. They were generous men to meet.

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The latter gentleman takes photographs in New York, I believe I spelled it one time David LahaaChapelle, only because the officer smiled when I explained the “haa” was silent, this story is drawn out. It wasn’t until I told him my birthdate that he asked my real name, 1969. He later allowed me to throw a piece of glass back in the river, so I found a new bowl and kept moving. Life is easier when your friends in blue are paid actors. Boston is great with cops, read about the next encounter.

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Benny was a turbo diesel named after this girl I remember. It was all sunshine, we went through a breaking down halfway to work stage as well. This one lasted months longer than the bicycle repair… In 20/20 it may have been less stress to simply walk, but surfing without a vehicle costs too many extra hitches. I will pay off all the tickets written to me. Only because I am a try hard though, and a wise man pays his debts. It is written in this book about The Richest Man in Babylon, quick read actually. The last book I finished, mostly just skim a few pages here and there. Malcolm Gladwell describes this effect as Cross-Slicing. For more on that free advice look into the idea of reading Blink. I am glad Sammer took a photo one time. He raps well too.

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I have been contemplating some residual income opportunities for you. It is tragic seeing the world’s best fruits fall uneaten left to compost inside your broken Honda push cutter, my fault. Actually there was a stump left slightly high, I forget who cut that one. I only use sickles for you, so far… This Gliricidia was cut with a chainsaw, just dropping species, or was that genus, I tell too many dad jokes.

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Youtube would like to show off some serious business potential for the 27 acre orchard opposite Wai coo coo, I forget how to spell Maui locations. I did not post our meeting on Snapchat, mostly I record my before and afters. Still have a few from work at Rhombus Guys too. I mean between the: Cocoa, Coconut, Avocado, Mango, Cherry, Lilokoi, Lemon, Lime and Cosmic Grapefruits. I can produce trade from trees and everyone needs SOAP!

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I forget all of their names, here’s me hugging a great one in Australia though. I would have memorized more plant species before it just involved a guy walking all the way over to ask Chad what they were called, and then he may explain I am taking too long cleaning everything up.

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I was late so often I started bringing him coffee. I figured it as a Mr. Nice thing to do since he  was working on the farm more than me. Property management seems to trap people places. I would talk until he smiled, because interesting things happen to me.

Despite this mans depression. At least where he spends much of his time is better than the bus rides through Nevada described in Howard Marks autobiography covering the inefficiencies searching butt-holes inside our former Federal Prison System. Maybe things still work the same, chapter 1 had me in tears.

The hygienic industry potential on your property is exceptional, I suppose those ingredients grow in other places too. I was just building a dream and he knew they will be used in soap someday (Step One: learn how to make lye), stoked with my new promotion.

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Second question, where would I show others how to assemble the ingredients? I only saw a few empty houses and large sheds on the property. Couldn’t help but walk around while I was hiding from the property manager on his scheduled safety breaks.

This prospecting toiletry company could produce deodorant without aluminum and toothpaste without fluoride, maybe even a Skin & Tonic or two. I believe the real monetary lyes in an opposite of aging emulsified skin antidote, cured inside bamboo. I was sleeping inside tents drinking about these ideas for a year and a half.

This number excludes the two years I made connections in Australia all over New Zealand, they were from 69 other countries too. People keep unliking my Facebook photos because I haven’t sent them free soap yet. This non-profit has hungry workers, actually I signed them up for EBT. Could not afford their healthcare either, no worries, Obama has a form for that two. Sometimes my grammar is off.

It takes awhile I to learn how to make the world’s best lye inside a Half Barrel. I tried too many plastic buckets and cast iron steam stacks before finding a White Oak barrel. The process was all over snapchat. It’s okay VerizonData pays my wireless bill, well they invested $600 in service, Droid Turbo 2’s  and personal hotspots already. I have a problem with LTE.

I was distracted with designing a logo. It took me a couple years of being called the Gunta before I could drop in on a 7 foot wave to come out the half barrel alive, Hawaii does measure from behind, this one was 6.9, give or harvest.

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I then realized I would not buy glass jars sold at Wal Mart or any other corporate establishment. Creating a bottle out of bamboo kept me up at night, mostly because I like to throw speed though. Made twelve of these and left Em behind with that dartboard Sean Walker left me for someone to find (inside a gold Mercedes parked at Bob’s next to my old WWJD bracelet, actually that one I was given in Cancun).

It was too bad no friends came to visit me with money. They just stayed for free, no worries I had paid the rent, well until Bob asked Le yah to keep hitting them up for spare cash. I can’t remember why his roof doesn’t leak anymore.

It’s alright, alright, aaall right. I taught them to fish through loopholes in the system because although the company is still non-profit my employees get benefits. One of our favorite agents at the federal office complimented Boston on his perfect form. She might have an idea who knew which lines to leave blank.

He has since wandered to the Flordia Keys even making the news. I would fire him, but we don’t believe in bad publicity. He is now a local celebrity, I did ask him to slow down on the sauce though, I thought that night a black rock wound I iodized and super glued back together after he didn’t listen well enough to instructions taught him more. Lost boy did grow up in foster care…

This is interesting spoof article for a side read on credibility and off-duty police officers needing to take a break. I understand history is written by those with more expensive pens. The version he gave me differed from this report. It is a bad idea to flee from officers of the law when they are in uniform…

http://www.flkeysnews.com/news/local/article90739652.html

fineeeesss lol

This is Backseat after spilling a bottle of wine and getting us asked to leave Kapahulu, its okay I was running out of wallets. Still looking for that other surfboard I fixed, so many tickets hanging off that Benz in the background. Good thing I know a guy named Tim at AAA or that burden could have fallen on taxpayers. It costs more to recycle vehicles in Hawaii than America. If it was up to me, I would just fix them, too many have been pushed off cliffs though.

getting hos, fucking unholy paper

Half Barrel Farms knows how to fill out free healthcare forms as well. The trick lyes in an ability to remain homeless and unemployed… Truly. Sometimes I sneeze to keep from laughing in front of the officers kind enough to accept Costco membership cards for identification and throw away those pieces of paper with my names on them. I am home in the world, well I was blessed. I mostly just let people see how unlucky this car was, it took me a day and a half to get her back around the island on our inaugural voyage.

A silver one came to me second, cost $51.00 and a cold beer. I was just looking for a radiator, Nile said I had to take the whole thing. She drove 9 mph all the way home, one can of Seafoam and some positive intentions was enough to bring the sequel back to life. Fuel gauge was busted, she broke down at the pump, it was love.

losing titles

Do you remember the time you were such an excellent individual? I’m unsure of the exact date and I hear stories of this happening all the time. I seem to remember this was around Bob Marley’s favorite holiday. I captioned the photo on facebook happy four twenty, posted a few days later in case you had anyone watching social media with your place on it (I noticed a couple of John Swanson’s pictures were taken down)… glad we were able to save one and that he asked me to be in it.

Woods

I am speaking specifically on the occasion in which we played some Bambooze-Bee (people are looking for this game). At the 1009 we called it Beersbee and the posts were made from PVC pipes, my winning percentage was the same… I still sleep on couches in the garage. Only because they were given a typewriter though.

educate

When we interrupted your afternoon, you were sitting with someone who looked fatherly joking with a youngest daughter named after that guy who is still royalty-ing from being Dazed and Confused. Next, the most beautiful kind of person hugged me right before you loaned a few minutes to make my year; only after Josh gave me a surfboard to fix and asked me to play on your team. We ended the afternoon 3-0. I remember holding a Torpedo in the photo as Hasegawa’s was out of Sierra Nevada Pale Ales that afternoon, my only regret.

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I remember some high fives when I hit the wax covered Corona bottles with flying sauce, this only happened a few times. Unsure of what to talk about, so I just asked you if you watched Kings games. Well, until I was about to leave, then had to throw free shots at Surfer Dude, I really liked the first half of that classic.

This would have nothing to do with the mildly competitive nature of a lost boys poker club; I have never heard about those games either. On second thoughts, If Doc Holiday looked like a Kilmer and you prefer spelling bees in Tombstone, I would put $5 on a game of billiards at Casablanca; we could call it an interview. The other stakes sound a little out of my current pricing.

 

I digress, the aforementioned legends stood on the shoulders of Humphrey Bogart… Among many others with endless style and smoothness in front of soul stealing reels. If I was any character in my favorite screenings, it would be me.

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I do find it difficult to be amigos with anyone who has trouble alluding themselves to the protagonist of a well connected plot (excepting when they prefer to play the villain); in this case I understand. Only because it rhymes.

I simply place my faith in Karma. One favorite song and a page of The Tao each morning before leaving my Coleman. I mean house, nice to be able to set up my own. It was portable, but I never traveled with it. Dallas, I hope you find a nice spot to throw it. I did have more than $169 invested into that rain fly.

I am Lucky in American Express. I am glad they found a Prime deal on Amazon after I forgot to cancel that free 30 day membership. Interest rates are sitting reasonably around 22% so the minimum is no problem. I am over credit.

Nevertheless, I am glad you got it for free, that asshole Toova didn’t deserve my $450 acclaim either, no worries I left him an empty title. I hope he can fix it though, the tools are inside.

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Let’s be real here, the thought of wishing only to win a best supporting actor statue may lead to overdoses of self loathing in which popcorn munchers like myself are left wanting for late greats such as Seymour-Hoffmans and our favorite Ledger. Jokers aside, let us pour out some cocoa-cola for the ones that spilled too much of their own.

I can’t help but observe occasional misdirected feelings of contempt upon my personal vibrations, my life looks more interesting on social media; isn’t that the point? The animation in my smile is usually trying to hide to 7 things that went unfortunately before one really good thing works out. I try to recollect positives if anyone is curious what I have been wandering about. I am just not a storyteller…

Yes I do prefer to live in beauty, only because sunsets seem look prettier on more days of the week through mountain passes and across west faces of the Pacific. Even better with a cold beer, I prefer Sierra Nevada Pale Ale (only because they taste good and sponsor my soap). Soap company lines… better than crossing party ones.

Here’s to Elizabeth Warren, Bernie prefers if you forget his name this November when you trump your unregistered arses to North Dakota to vote liberally (North Dakota does not require voter registration). We are having a rally at Rhombus Guys in downtown Fargo. If you could please sign up for less arsenals, the booth is set up next door. It is the tallest building, there’s a bear standing on Main, can’t miss it.

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On a separate string, picturesque can be as equally amazing, gazing abroad a sundog from inside the top floor of the heated Bank of The West building on a forty below afternoon in Fargo, North Dakota…

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This reminds me, I need another bank account so I can post more snapchats to dyyyylon19 (VERIZON DATA), this is until their lazy asses provide unlimited of the latter and sponsor my soap too!

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Lucifer knows, I am tired of uploading unpaid advertisements for them, the tab is over 11,000 points now, so whenever you boys have the cash… I am hopeful to see it sooner, on since we added commercial breaks in my friend’s stories about cats getting coffee.

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I would like to say, those extra taps cost me data, I mean credit, I mean soft earned tips gifted to me by to many people at less than 15% after I brought their bulldog Miller some water. I cannot wait to tell people about your flooring business Sir, what was your’s name? I spent too much time crushing ice for your pussy as strawberry margarita… glad you compensated with a Big Dog Pizza, you can stay on the porch.

$5 on 56 is sour math, I get it your friends don’t pay for shit. Next time please ask them to leave the tip. It may be good for them to learn about contribution (see the first scene of Tarantino’s best film about your puppy’s Reservoir Dawg)! I’ll bring Miller water next time either way, only because he is better looking and like you I take pride in my work as well. All paragraphs aside, I am seriously happy you work for yourself.

Lucky, Jesus C blessed me with a fearless heart. Remembering these graces since the moment my father popped the training wheels off my that original Huffy push bike; it did have pedals… I’m sure my mother was searching for the knee pads while she missed that first spill.

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Personally, I feel uninvested in any activity until it pulls my hair and tries to give me a black eye (actually that’s just what happened on a beach in Noosa the night I learned how to fight and decided not to do that again, he called me bitch, glad I never connected).

Bloody noses have been mostly self inflicted and induced upon a shit eating grin linked to my lack of a perfect filter. God put two ears behind my curly hair for a reason! I am still realizing if I closed my mouth more I wouldn’t have had to replace so many pairs of reading glasses as a child (AR champion 4th-6th, if you have to ask what AR means you probably did not accelerate at comprehending books; more likely schools did away from silly competitions).

I am farsighted, whatever that means; inheriting this rare cataract vision at birth from the Welsh side of my Cadwalladers. Thankful, Tim had me wearing a Lucy helmet the day he helped me ride on two wheels. I was four, but as it turns out he didn’t want to miss it like his father. The late Grandpa Wayne took a nap and caught Cirrhosis when was my dad was 11, so he asked my Uncle to teach me how to hunt. Vancouver, Washington lost a great man in blue. Thank you for your investment in my future Roger and Scott. I am still working on my humility as well as listening to words written in between those trees.

uncles churr

Lucky for me, Grandpa Lucy was a Marine. Nearly killed in Vietnam, I still remember crying when he told me the story in a fish house, I was 8. He signed up as to avoid fighting alongside privileged children drafted into the National Guard, he just didn’t realize those killers were rich enough to avoid the whole scenario.

It must have had something to do with Muhammad Ali, he was suspended from being a World Champion due to his affluence in being black. Good thing the Supreme Court took a few years to decide on Justice’s, glad things have changed. Mike was able to save his helmet.

I took an Irish fall that afternoon my Dad left work early again to teach me how to ride a bike before coaching little league practice. He was an excellent time manager, how else does a man that could out drink anyone at the Long Prairie Country club and hold down a county administration position for twenty years before getting sober. Well, it was a government job…

I would argue that he treated every employee with much more respect than he had for his own personal wellness. This attributed to a status as “The King of the Dump.” His small town radio commercials for KEYL spread laughing about Reducing, Reusing and Up-cycle. I can’t remember all the words, but it was some kind of salvage.

My parents wouldn’t buy me a playstation until the second came out and I wrote a song about getting one for christmas a year later… I did end up with two Ataris and every game invented on those magic boxes harvested from the Todd County Transfer Station, among many other treasures. Forcing me to spend more time at the outdoor hockey rink, until he became president of the association and my friends all got keys to the Cow Palace, that’s what we called the rink, last voted in the state of MN but number one in free ice time. I did play for the Northstars (Prairie-Centre, represent, not sure why Sinclair Lewis spelled the second half British).

On a side note, Mr. Cad is now 6 years sober and the proud owner of a masters degree in Licensed Drug Counseling, which he extends at a pro bono rate to anyone in need of taking a break at substance abuse. Please message me for his phone number if need be!

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Anyway, I appear to have drifted, again…

Back to the story of what it takes to see the world. One fucking step out the door I call society and into the wild. Careful in Las Vegas, this bus almost took half my savings before I made it out of the country!

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Cash flow has been a talent of mine since I starting catching quarters. I prefer to send these down river before any bills burn holes in Mikey’s least favorite shorts. Otherwise, I am usually left explaining why my friend’s lighter is still in the front left pocket amidst asking Terri Jo for repairs on the threads again. She knew I would never smoke cigarettes… Sorry Mom, I do at least roll my own, they are organic. Watch out for American Spirit however as they are owned by Philip Morris too. Still much better than tailored cigarettes, mostly what is bad is the carpet glue. I buy hemp papers when they are available too. In Maui a guy can even grind his own tobacco from leaf.

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As for the cash I began generating at 6 years old bleaching reclaimed golf balls found on long walks and swims across the aforementioned golf course with my neighbor Jimmy Siegle, Long Prairie Football’s all time leading rusher; it is quickly spent on candy and other things for my friends. I focus my energies primarily on ways to find more. We used to fill 50 lbs salt saver bags with balls, swimming after dark didn’t matter because the only way to find them was digging through the mud anyway. We also got kicked off the course less at night time. Anyway, after Clorox-ing them doctors never knew they were waterlogged. Pharmaceutical Reps are good about letting them win anyways…

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Wolf says, “The best dollar you ever earn is the one you didn’t have to spend.”

I may have misinterpreted this while bribing my favorite mechanic Hans “Diesel” Murray to teach me how to work on a $140 Mercedes Benz harvested from the best organic farm in Kipahulu, probably a world contender.

Cold beers and Maui Wowi claimed all the cash I earned weed whacking for Woody Harrelson in the six months it took me to get her running so I could meet the homie TK at the airport. I was not a mechanic. Lucky, my friends Ebert, Borgstrom and Clapp’s dads taught them how to call me a dumbass while they showed me how to hold a wrench. I had a nice childhood, my parents were very generous and I used to work in turkey barns to afford motor oil to keep this bike running. It took me one day to dent that tailpipe and snap the front brake lever.

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Yes, we raced motocross, I still have the 3rd Place trophy, came in fourth and brought home a souvenir with my scars. Some other kid must have had enough plastic and respected how many times I fell finishing that race. If only there was Snapchat in those days kids (we wouldn’t have had to pay them to save our memories).

MERZY drove me home in one stop for the first time on my 26th birthday. Tyler John said that’s when he was making it over from New Zealand. The kid was 4 months late, not surprising, but as he made the last two (one spent seeing Eminem, Kendrick and J Cole at an outdoor concert in Brisbane, Australia, he met a girl at the mall and scored us a sober ride with last minute tickets/the next getting my ass on a plane to Maui from Tauranga trading a second favorite skateboard with the Kiwi Cowboy, Cory Nordick).

25 was such a lucky birthday I remember having it twice. I did actually, there was a dateline involved…

Landing at OGG

The man who lives in tents

Orwellian Times

Giving up television a few years ago was accidentally one of the easiest things I have ever done. I am not trying to stand on a soap box here as most of these extra hours were spent at pubs and on hangovers from long nights out in Queenstown, New Zealand. A magical mountain village in which beer can be consumed in public until 10 PM and the local establishments are open until 4 AM, except for public holidays, of course, those are spent drinking at home with your mates.

In between heavy benders and toga parties at the University of the Sunshine Coast, another majestic scene. Imagine a college campus in which Kangaroos roam freely, they are just called Wallabies. Surfing is on the offered curriculum.

Striding aside these furry marsupials who seem to mix in more naps than me are a fleet of pissed up 18 year olds, as that is the legal age one can attend war and the bar. I was just reliving glory days and learning to surf, skateboard, snowboard and make cocktails. Childish right?

Since returning home after four years away it seems everyone is busier, materials cost more, exercise looks a thing of the past while Monsanto keeps our sugar content high, farmer’s profits low and weeds non-existent.

Many young men and women are busy affording mortgages in inflated housing markets. My sister is under a great deal of stress relating to the wedding she is planning. Busy making sure each detail is meticulously organized. In between episodes of Pretty Little Liars we discussed… I can’t remember, she told me to go away while her show was on.

Has anyone ever read the George Orwell classic, 1984? Me neither, I listened to it on Audible, having no lamp in my tent the story telling and sleep timer were outstanding. I also recommend Catch 22, Huckleberry Finn or even the Alchemist if you are as overtly optimistic as I.

People were telling me to improve my listening skills, if you don’t know me, this is a nice way of my family and friends saying I talk too much. Membership to this Amazon based application has really paid off, I am now able to pretend I am not making sarcastic jokes inside my head for much longer while I watch people’s mouths move up and down speaking about the latest sitcom or Bachelorette episode their perfect evening hangs upon.

After studying neuroscience and marketing in college I can’t help but notice the commercials are mostly getting it wrong, and they still work. We are being manipulated by the powers at be. The same structures funneling employees inside cubed boxes and centrally banked currency up pyramidal financial structures at which the God’s whom sit atop seem to be shoving all their profits inside Pandora’s pretty little box, unseen again in this economy.

Granted, the beau guarding of all this gold seems to tell me she’s come down with some sort of dragon infection and I hope it’s the curable kind…

I try not to praise obese mouth breathers as out of shape as that guy who might survive coronary disease long enough to finish his tales of ice and fire so HBO can slice them into 53 minute pornographic telenovelas to distract the masses, and yes I do enjoy GOT.

This being said, Michael Moore’s algebra appears slightly lacking according to my maths. I believe it stands to reason that 0.9% of that evil 1% are just as afraid of this IMAGINARY resource we dictate USD’s running out with the rest of us. Call it greed or the Jones’s fault; meanwhile they are being taxed out every orpheus, all the while mounting their mobiles on all modes of transportation; as their clock doesn’t time out.

Obviously, reappropriating funds, streamlining 3rd party healthcare and insurance systems while destitute able humans create solar powered organic farms and housing centers near them. Leading a dispersion of major cities. All the while providing efficient and economic public transportation coordinated through GPS and sun powered magnets, after, legalizing illicit substances as to avoid black markets and drug feuds. Thus allowing us to minimize law enforcement in the abandoned ghetto districts. Saving us valuable pesos spent on building new prisons in Texas.

You’re right, this will never work while we are spending 6 trillion dollars in the Middle East paying off privatized defense contracts, while securing foreign oil and centralizing their banking. ISIS is a bunch of assholes anyway.

The real tragedy is displayed in the cutting of necessary funding and basic salaries inside our underpowered education systems; luckily, children have smart phones, their futures are secure. As long as we can keep loaning money from our Big Brothers Northwest of Taiwan, essentially selling America into debt. If only there was Democracy.

I am actually very happy the 0.01% of wealthy families worked so hard to build this America on a strong foundation of slavery and deferment of taxes. So today their overpowered and under skilled offspring can be in charge. Possibly now apocalypse shall come sooner than expected. Planet earth is about ready to tear off the literal Band-Aid that is our human race. Thank goodness we have been able pharmaceuticalize plastic and trail our cumulonimbus chemically, now we control the weather. Soon icebergs could grow back. My only fear is when the giant Armageddon strikes… We will truly be left wondering why there’s no more data to find our Pokemon Go’s.

The Waltons and Rothchildren of this world are doing better than ever at separating themselves from the society they enslaved. Quickly to the yachts and jet planes, before we learn all of their names.

I digress, the safest place to hide from plebeians; an exquisite bomb shelter built inside mountains all over the History channel. Hopefully nothing will erupt if the earth quakes.

I may have only taken Economics 201 but it is surprising to me how citizens who pay taxes and work jobs spend hard earned Washington’s back into the world’s largest Ponzi scheme. A governance of the people by the largest multi-national banks, corporations and conglomerates ever formed. Dodging every possible law against monopoly or just underwriting existing policy (see usage of Verizon Wireless towers on Wal-Mart Straight Talk); while paying lower taxes than any individual proprietorship or LLC.

The term for this is: Corporate Oligarchy. Please let us familiarize ourselves with this new government: built by the corporations for the multi-nationals. 

It is simply a whole new world order, like Walt D., let’s hear the story of Aladdin, I always fell asleep. Literally, my parents put this one on and I would get upset because nap was written on the living room walls in red Crayola. After further research, it goes something like this.

We are all pieces of our own debt, one way out, spend like thieves or Jews (if you subscribe to golden rules).

The wise people of Jerusalem figured out long ago, if they only spend their gold coins and silver pence on their family’s businesses; their family will retain maximum monetary means and gain other dollars spent at their establishments by remaining Israelites, thus increasing Jewish net worth and persecution.

In my personal opinion, small business expansion and a heightened presence of consumer responsibility will affect the overall disbursement of corporate assholishness and aid population dispersion across land masses which may be needed to save our favorite planet. Which leads me to one concluding enquiry…

Is anyone else scared that many people can only afford to shop at Wal-Mart?

 

Courtesy Quotes:

We vote with our dollars everyday, this is truly our greatest power; well besides social media and Pokemon Go, two things saving the world one selfie at a time.

While voting for liberals at this years election I will remember to avoid “hanging Chads”, because every vote counts.. Bad joke, 9/11, too soon?

Two feet and a heartbeat

 

The man who lives in tents

I get it, no one has time; well that is except for me. Blessed with health and spare minutes, lately I have been spending those moving bags from country to smaller country, then island to mainland and around this great state of lakes we call home. Living in the good graces of friends, family and $40 cash borrowed from my father for about 6 weeks now.

Sleeping on beaches, in tents, occasionally a $2 million Bali house (it was under construction, thanks Levi) back to Bob’s beach house for a final evening on the point (see photo). I had been asked to leave after finishing the repairs on his roof, lucky timing (we were only threatened once with a machete, ask Austin, he prefers to be called Boston or Backseat).

I learned from the best how to stretch a work trade (Terrance Carthy, more affectionately known as T Sauce).

Much alike other previous habits hard to bust (I usually stay at the bar until I’m kicked out). Finding my passport between the pages of a Betty Crocker cookbook I bought for cousin Bailey put a large smile across my tears; finally able to credit in 37,500 Delta skymiles (cheers for the surfboard too AmEx). Bart and Eleanor were most helpful upon this chance landing at MSP in time to surprise Pops at the altar.

A few might argue with me when I type, homeless life is not all it is chalked up to be. I say this because last night I slept at a shelter for the first time in 4 years of Beatnik wandering (although I’m sure my tribulations have been far from the ones described in that Kerouac book people keep asking me to read).

Contrary to my false assumptions pertaining to why the world needs a Four Agreements… I met more positive people this morning than I have seen in a long time.

Yes, life has picked up these men by the britches; surprisingly, most couldn’t express to me what a relief it is to have only one bag of things. Their stories related lost houses, cars, boats, girlfriends and satellite television.

Explaining how I recently gave away everything I owned, which did include two Mercedes Benz’s (although Uncle Hunter knows I am coming back for the turbo). This statement is also an exaggeration: among missing wallets, cell phones, birth certificates, social security cards, surfboards and favorite shirts. I was able to preserve my father’s Nikon, first guitar, a portable Bose speaker and the bat phone 5. The last $10 in my Bank of Hawaii account spent on Apple music; I support artists and need good beats.

There was also a crashed Mac book containing a thousand pages of stories I had been diligently avoiding to edit for about 44 months now, kind of like my student loan payments.

This last item is why the story is beginning again..

Orwellian Times